The Vikings had a huge crunch match against the London Wayfarers M3s last this weekend at Battersea Park. Thanks to Neal Monk for this great account from the game….

It was refreshing to wake up on Saturday morning warm, and in sunshine. It was, in fact, a beautiful day, with the only downside being the prospect of having to see Livo later. Asking on Bumble (it’s a dating app Hugh) for advice to get over my hangover, I was told by one girl to try honey and lemon. I chastised her for such a ridiculous idea, and instead settled on 500g of lemon yoghurt. Despite the fact she hasn’t replied since, it was definitely the right decision. Onto Vauxhall

I had to wait 15 minutes for a bus, and then had to share it with 2 of the 3s. I won’t mention who (if you wanted to have foie gras, but only for a snack, you might need these two players…) but when we were discussing who was playing in goal for both teams they suggested it would be a high scoring game, and laughed. I was, of course, stoic in my silence and took no part.

Arriving to the pitch, it was clear Mossy had had a coffee. And possibly some magic beans. He was on one, which unfortunately was not the one anyone else wanted him on. We had some ridiculous amount of time to warm up, and I stopped 3/3 short corners in the warm up, which is the first time that’s ever happened ever. Good omens.

We were pretty awful in the first 15. Hugh tried to fight 5 people, none of whom were Gibbo, who slotted a short into the top corner. Someone said it looked pretty slow and Digger should’ve saved it, but I, of course, vehemently disagreed with this assessment. Things started to turn around when we realised the 3s weren’t that fit, but primarily it was really hot, and moving the ball worked quite well. We got a little lucky when a ball into the D was missed, but Jacko made no mistake and we went into the second half deservedly level.

We continued to play quite well, and Jacko exquisitely finished a beautiful solo goal with no assist to give us the lead. Then, a third, where everyone celebrated twice and Shaun is convinced had already crossed the line. After this,I told Cyrus to watch his tackles because Potts wanted to send him off, so he didn’t make another one all game! This meant Potts had to send off the closest lookalike in the team, JA, and give a flick, because DRAMA!!!!!!!!

Hugh said he put good money on Digger saving the flick. Although everyone agreed after the game he should have, I, of course, made no such comment. Hugh did not get his good money. Luckily for us, and in the vein of our captain, Gibbo was all fingers and couldn’t convert. Flick went over. 1m 34 seconds left. Game over?

Not quite. Livo, who hadn’t cheated in at least 2 games, decided he’d rub salt in the 3s’ wounds and backstick one in on the break. 4-1. Celebratory beers in the showers.

Later on, I found out Cyrus and I have a mutual friend, and I play hockey with his sister. She’s got a long-term boyfriend and I’m certain I’ve got no chance, but I haven’t introduced her to Shaun yet…

Then someone took Mossy’s phone. Like someone took his tankard. It could be worse, at least no one took your kit.

17 points, 4 games remaining. A win next week takes us above the 3s. Blackburn have just gone top of League 1. Not a bad weekend.

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